8 Ways to be Your Husband’s Best Friend

It’s been great to write about A Lasting Marriage! I hope you’ve had as much fun reading it as I have writing it! This week, I found some really great articles about “Being Your Spouses Best Friend” in my preparation for this week’s blog post. Michael Hyatt wrote an excellent article on How to Become Your Spouses Best Friend which gives a lot of food for thought. Danielle Peters, in Fancy Little Things, wrote 7 Ways to Become Your Spouse’s Best Friend – a great article that gives more wonderful suggestions. And even if you’re not military, Veterans United has a great post on Beyond Loving Your Spouse: 25 Ways to be a Best Friend.

Here are some more ideas:

1. Accept your husband – dirty socks, gas, burps and all! One of our great desires is to be accepted as we are. Shouldn’t we do the same for our best friend?

2. Have fun together! Have a date and make sure there is some play time, too!

3. Feed him! It’s still true that “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach” …even after 30 years! Make his favorite dishes and desserts. As he gets older, we may need to modify these for health’s sake, but don’t modify them so much that they become unrecognizable! Apple pie should never become rhubarb sauce…

4. Dress up for him. Of course, morning hair is going to happen, but if you’re still wearing your morning hair when he gets home from work, that’s a problem. Don’t get caught in your rollers and pjs in the afternoon! Dress nicely for him, and when you go out on a date, wear something that’s nice.

5. Flirt with him. Yes, even after all these years, still flirt with him. Wink at him across the room, or raise an eyebrow at him. Drape a bare thigh over his leg (when no one’s watching, of course) or lay a pair of your underwear on his shoulder as you walk by. Ah yes, you can get quite creative! It makes life very interesting.

6. Find his love language and speak love to him. According to Gary Chapman, author of 5 Love Languages, they are: 1) Touch, 2) Giving, 3) Serving, 4) Talk, and 5) Time. Find out your hubby’s, and plan to love him the way he perceives love.

7. Get upset only at true sin. Dirty socks are not a sin, nor are farts or shoes on the steps. Eating ice cream out of the carton is not a sin, either. Pornography, on the other hand, is a sin, as is adultery and spiritual neglect. Take the things that may personally irritate you to God, but don’t blow up at him because he left his shoes on the steps. And if true sin is involved, approach him with meekness, “considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted.”

8. Learn to forgive. This is a big one, ladies. The only way I learned to forgive was when the Lord brought me face-to-face with my own faults, and I learned that mine are just as big and horrible, but different. It’s the same with you. Your sins may not be as glaring, but they’re still there. Learn to forgive, because you’ll need to be forgiven often yourself.

You may have only been married a year, or 20 years (or you could be like us…going on your 30th year!!) but you can still be best friends. You’re already taking a journey…now, make it a COURAGEOUS JOURNEY! Give it all you’ve got and watch exciting things happen!

Are you and your husband still great friends? Tell us about it! How do you maintain a close friendship with your spouse?

Check our Facebook page for “Destinations” (assignments for the day) to pump up your journey!

Linking up with: Monday:
Alabaster Jar,
The Better Mom,
Raising Arrows
What Joy is Mine

Titus Two Tuesdays, Mercy Ink Blog, The TimeWarp Wife, http://www.messymarriage.com/

To Love Honor and Vacuum



  1. Krista says:

    Thanks for this! I would like to add one- Watch sports with him! Or at least, let him watch sports! Or if he doesn’t like to watch sports- let him pick the movie every now in then. My husband tells me all the time, “I know you don’t care about sports, but I really appreciate you watching it with me and letting me talk about it.” 🙂 🙂 For comments like that, no problem!!

    • Lisa says:

      Some men love sports and some don’t. Mine couldn’t care less! I guess what it boils down to is that we take the effort to be interested in the things that interest him!

      Thanks, Krista!

  2. LaLonnie Jones says:

    Great points! Thanks for that insight. We certainly don’t set out to sabotage our own relationship, but it’s really easy to do.

  3. Beth says:

    Friendship has always been a priority to in my life–not only with my girlfriends but especially with my husband. So I really appreciate the time you’ve taken to give us pointers in this important area of marriage. When I look at your list, I think that I’ve probably not “flirted” enough with my husband lately, Lisa. So that’s the one I’m going to focus on today! Thanks so much for sharing these great thoughts. I’m so glad you linked this up at Wedded Wed, my friend!

    • Lisa says:

      Yes, a little bit of holy flirting goes a long way! Your comment reminded me that I also have daily “missions” on my Facebook – Facebook.com/thecourageousjourney. A little bit of work on our friendships with our husbands every day is very important.

  4. Sheila at Longings End says:

    GREAT ideas, Lisa. Thanks so much for sharing. And the last tip listed is undoubtedly the most important and sometimes the hardest. My husband and I have only been married two years come July 18, but unfortunately have been earlier divorced…so a site like yours will be a great boon to us!! We are learning every step along the way with Abba our perfect teacher.

    • Lisa says:

      Forgiveness can definitely be the hardest, in my opinion, because we tend to “want to make a point” and “make sure he knows how much trouble he’s caused!” But if we think of how much trouble we cause the Son of God…it all goes into a very different perspective!

      Thanks for sharing, Sheila

  5. momstheword says:

    Lisa, this is wonderful! Awesome tips and encouragement, but are you SURE that dirty socks aren’t a sin???????? 😉

    We just celebrated our 30th anniversary. Friendship is soooo important in a marriage, as is love of course. We still flirt and tease one another and still kiss one another every day, several times a day!

    Thanks so much for linking up! I would love it if you’d include a courtesy link back to my blog along with your other Monday blog parties next time you link up! Also wanted you to know that the new “Making Your Home Sing Monday” linky party is live and ready for your posts!

    • Lisa says:

      Hahaha! Well, I haven’t found anything about dirty socks yet in the Bible. ;). That’s great that you and your hubby kiss several times a day. Not only you, but the kids as well know that you guys love each other!

      Sorry for forgetting to put the link back to your blog. I’ll make sure it’s on next time! And thanks so much for the invite to the “Making Home Sing Monday!” What a beautiful name!

  6. Rhiannon says:

    I am incredibly blessed to have a best friend that I am very close to. We are closer than any sisters I have ever met. I know that something that I do with her causes us to be so close, so when I’m interacting with others I use my best friend relationship as a model. One of the things that we definitely do is accept one another and have fun together. I have learned that acceptance is absolutely necessary in loving relationships. I’m so thankful for my relationship with my best friend, it has taught me to have a best friend relationship with my man as well. Thank you for the tips! I like the flirt one – that is something that tends to get neglected over time.

  7. Rachel R. says:

    My hubby doesn’t leave dirty clothes lying around. He’s the “neat freak.” I struggle to not frustrate him by keeping the house *too* disastrous. (I walk a fine line between not letting the house approach condemnable levels and not hating my kids because I’ve battled them all day over trying to keep it presentable. :/ Housekeeping is not my strong point.)

    A friend lost her husband to an auto accident a number of years ago, and commented about missing things she never thought she’d miss – like “whiskers on the sink.” Her words have stuck with me.

    And to go along with #’s 7 & 8 – bear with his weaknesses. Even true sin should not be cause for condemnation if there is true repentance (or a struggle to fight it). Our husbands need to know that we are in their corner, helping them fight the battles, not looking down on them (or angry at them) because they find themselves in battles in the first place.

    • Lisa says:

      I think I have the same trouble myself…a high tolerance for clutter! It’s NoT a good thing, but The Lord has been helping me with it.

      Oh, what we will miss when hubby’s gone! Whiskers, dirty socks, etc. You’re so right!

      Yes, instead do being against our husbands, we need to be FoR them! Very good points. Thanks for your thoughts!

    • Lisa says:

      Thank you!

      Yes, the 5 Love Languages has been very helpful for the whole family. It’s always good to know what peoples’ love languages are, so we can “speak their language!”

Leave a Reply