6 “Secrets” to Improve Your Parenting


Many of us struggle as parents. It’s a huge job! One of our biggest struggles is, “Am I doing this right? Am I being the best mom I can be?” “How can I improve my parenting?” And some of us are just hoping we can get our children to adulthood without resorting to duct tape! 😉

From the many interviews I’ve conducted over the years, REALNESS is the single most important factor in raising children. In fact, it’s so important that one woman wrote,

“Mom taught us to be real. This is perhaps the main reason why each of us attends church or is in the ministry today. The Mom we watched at church as the pastor’s wife was the same person we saw at home. Christianity was not a game we played on Sundays and Wednesdays. It was who we were. We did what we did, not because people were watching us, but because what we did was the right thing to do.

Mom taught us these lessons and many others, not by telling them to us, but by living them in front of us each and every day of her life; and they are lessons that I will never forget.”[i]

No matter how good (or awful) your parenting is today, you can improve it dramatically.

Here are six quick “secrets” to improve your parenting by tomorrow morning!

  1. Don’t be a hypocrite – a hypocrite says one thing and does another…and sends people to an eternity of horror in the process.
  2. Be real with yourself – Don’t fool yourself into thinking we are something we aren’t. See previous post on 3 Great Parental Delusions)
  3. Be real with God – admit where you’re wrong and see His forgiveness. Don’t bother trying  to put on a front. God is with you all the time, and sees everything you does, so there’s no use trying to pull the wool over His eyes! As a result, your life is the same whether you’re out at the store, at home, or in church.
  4. Be real with your family – Our families desperately need to see a consistent testimony for the Lord. If we just “put on” like we’re some wonderful super-Christian while we’re at church, and then yell at and beat the kids at home, then we’re not showing them the reality of God in our lives.
  5. Be real with your circumstances – When we’re struggling with something, pray, and ask our families to pray for us. It may be a sin, or depression, or perfectionism. When we’re in a dangerous position, pray – and watch God protect! When we’re in need (financially, physically, emotionally,)  don’t be afraid to let it be known. Gather the kids and you can all talk to the Lord about it. Be honest with Him, and humbly ask Him for His help. Then, when the kids see God move in miraculous ways, don’t forget to point that out to them and praise God together! Young people desperately need to see God at work somewhere. What better place than at home?
  6. Don’t try to be perfect – you can’t do it, and your family and friends already know you’re that. Just try to be REAL.


I promised 6 things, but just think of these as a BONUS!

What is Realness?

  1. Realness is imperfection transparent
  2. Realness is not having a perfect, problem-free life; it is having problems and really, truly, casting them upon the Lord.
  3. Realness is not working ourselves half to death in an attempt to prove our perfection; it is acknowledging our weaknesses and allowing Him to work through us.

Take these “secrets” to heart, and I’m certain that your parenting – and your whole family – will improve!

Question: What are some other things you can think of that will help us improve our parenting?

Special Announcements:

  • Stay glued to the Facebook page for daily encouragements, reminders, and exciting assignments!



  • Keep your eyes out for the upcoming release of my new book on this topic, Lionproof: Keeping Your Children from the Claws of the Devil, coming in September! In this book, there will be:
    • Not just information telling parents why kids are going astray, but proven parenting practices that have worked for generations that are successful in raising godly children.
    • Dozens of interviews from those 2nd generation Christians who KNOW what their parents did RIGHT.
    • Charts and graphs detailing the results of the interviews
    • Assignments to help the reader implement these principles in their own parenting.
    • And much, much more!

If you have a blog and would like a review copy of the book, let me know! All you have to do when you’re done reading it is to post about it on your blog! Leave a comment here or email me, and I’ll get in touch with you.


DONE: What Most Religions Won’t Tell You About the Bible, by Cary Schmidt– a free download on a Kindle device, excellently explains a true and vibrant relationship with God.

Authentic Beauty, by Leslie Ludy – Leslie, as her usual self, frankly tells us that  true beauty is beauty of the heart in its vibrant relationship with God.

The Holy Bible, KJV – the most accurate piece of ancient literature ever written, which has many authors, but one theme – our relationship with God, and His with us! It is God’s Written Word.

i. Christian Womanhood Magazine – I quoted from the April 2010 issue.

For your information, I get nothing from recommending these resources. They are just great books that I’ve read and I think are very helpful.

Linking up with: Monday: Alabaster Jar, The Better Mom, and Moms the Word,
and Happy Wives Club

Tuesday: Titus Two Tuesdays, Mercy Ink Blog, The TimeWarp Wife, Messy Marriage

Wednesday: To Love Honor and Vacuum


  1. Beth says:

    There’s nothing I love more than a post that is on being “real,” Lisa, since Messy Marriage is all about being REAL, Raw and Redemptive. 🙂 These are great insights you’ve gleaned from your interviews. So helpful! Thanks for linking this up with Wedded Wed.

    • Lisa says:

      REALness is so very important! Yet, often, we parents get so involved in trying to make everything look just right that we neglect to be transparent.

      I’m so glad Messy Marraige is all about transparency! That’s the thing that really attracts me to your blog.

  2. momstheword says:

    Great suggestions! When I was a kid my parents protected us from a lot of stuff, and my mom continued that into my adulthood for awhile, until I convinced her that I wanted and needed to know certain things. She didn’t want to “worry” me but I wanted to know things so that I could pray (and also so that it wasn’t a surprise).

    When our kids were young we didn’t burden them with everything either. But we did do just as you do and allowed them to know about some things so that they could pray but also so that they could see God work and thank him for it! Thanks so much for linking up to the “Making Your Home Sing Monday” linky party! 🙂

    • Lisa says:

      As a parent, sometimes it’s hard to know what’s good to let the kids in on, and what’s not…but I think they know when something’s really bothering us, so we may as well get them to pray with us. And it’s wonderful when they see answers to their prayers!

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