5 Marriage Myths to Avoid

"If I Just Believe Hard Enough, I Think I Can Make Him a Prince!"

“If I Just Believe Hard Enough, I Think I Can Make Him a Prince!”

 

When I was young, Cinderella was a big hit. It was the classic fairy tale, complete with a prince, beautiful gowns, and a happily-ever-after life. But in reality, life is no fairy-tale. And neither is marriage. 

 

There are few things in this world that the Devil assails as much as a Christian home, and especially a Christian marriage. You would think that, because two people love the Lord and dedicate themselves to  each other for life, it would virtually guarantee an excellent home. But that’s simply not so.

 

Divorce statistics are staggering – and it’s not just the unsaved, worldly, carnal people getting divorced. It’s folks that bear the name of Christ, attend church regularly, and say they love the Lord.

 

I may be wrong, but it seems to me that many people come to marriage with a bit of a fairy-tale mentality. They tend to think the story goes something like this:

 

Boy meets girl.

Boy feels this floppy, soppy feeling, and decides it must be love.

Girl can’t get boy out of her mind, and decides it must be love.

They enjoy each other’s company, stroke each other’s little egos, and do cute little things for each other.

They mutually agree that they want this sort of relationship for life.

Soooo – Boy proposes to girl.

Girl deliriously accepts.

They get married in a beautiful church, spend who-knows-how-much on the wedding, and fly off to a honeymoon in the Bahamas.

And live happily ever after.

 

Does it really go like this? Rarely. This is how it normally goes:

 

Boy meets girl.

Boy feels this floppy, soppy feeling, and decides it must be love.

Girl can’t get boy out of her mind, and decides it must be love.

They enjoy each other’s company, stroke each other’s little egos, and do cute little things for each other.

They mutually agree that they want this sort of relationship for life.

Soooo – Boy proposes to girl.

Girl deliriously accepts.

They get married in a beautiful church, spend who-knows-how-much on the wedding, and fly off to a honeymoon in the Bahamas.

Then, the day after the wedding, something goes wrong.

Thinking they were marrying someone who would meet all their needs, they find that the other person is not perfect, doesn’t meet all their needs, and actually is selfish sometimes!

Each thinks the other is not holding up their end of the bargain, and eventually divorce starts sounding better than the ball-and-chain they’ve created.

 

Unfortunately for most couples, by this time in their marriage they have a toothless little diaper-wetter who now demands more of their energy and time than they ever thought they had. And this little diaper-wetter will probably grow up in a broken home.

 

Most people go into marriage like a tick goes to a dog – looking for someone to take care of them, meet their needs, and love them no matter what.

 

What they end up with is more like two ticks and no dog!

 

Folks, that’s a terrible realization!

 

There are several marriage myths that you can avoid that can avert this awful ending to the fairy-tale.

 

  1. It’ll be ok – I can marry a lost man, because I can change him after we’re married. (see 2 Corinthians 6:14) No, you can’t. It’s as simple as that. Check out #3.
  2. I just want to be married; I don’t want kids. (see Psalm 127:3) I tell my girls, “If you don’t want children, don’t get married.” Children are the inevitable result of marriage. They are the blessing of the Lord, and if you don’t want that kind of blessing, stay away from the thing that gives it to you.
  3. I can change him. (see Proverbs 21:1) This is totally unrealistic, because we can’t control other people. In fact, just try to make your cat come in at night! If we can’t control an animal, we sure can’t control a spouse.
  4. I have to tell him whenever I think he’s wrong. (see 1 Peter 3:1) Allowing someone to make a bad decision can be one of the most loving things you can do. This is a very mild illustration: My husband, since having Lyme disease 25 years ago, is somewhat directionally challenged, so much so that he will often make wrong turns or get lost. One of the hilarious times was when we finished visiting some friends, and we turned to go. He smiled, waved goodbye, and promptly disappeared into the garage! I simply waited for him to come back out….and I didn’t berate him for making a wrong turn! (But I must admit, it was TERRIBLY funny!)
  5. Sex in marriage is just legalized lust, right? (see Malachi 2:14) Oh no, not at all. It’s so much more than base lust. A little passion goes a long way, definitely, and the union of two lovers is the most fun you can have together, without spending a dime! But it’s also more than just fun. God created sex as a way of uniting two, and creating a bond that goes beyond mere words or sentiment. It’s a divinely appointed way for the expression of love.

 

Marriage is not a fairy-tale. We don’t have time or energy to devote to things that are not true. Don’t fall for these marriage myths! Find out the truth of God’s Word, and stand on it. God will always bless when we trust in Him.

What are some myths about marriage you’ve heard? What would you tell someone who thinks they’re true?

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