4 Things That Will Send Your Marriage to the Divorce Court…and how to prevent them

John and Katy seemed to have it all. When we met them about 15 years ago, they had a beautiful, spacious house, several happy children, and an excellent income. It came as a complete shock when we learned of their divorce a few years ago. When we spoke with John recently, we discovered that Katy had  made some fatal mistakes that sealed the doom of their family.

What were they, you ask?

1. She was never satisfied with anything he did.
2. She criticized him to others.
3. She acted superior to him
4. She never made any playful gestures toward him.

Ever get the feeling she was just plain bitter toward him? I did. So, even though I was surprised that they got a divorce, I can say now, looking back, that I guess I saw it coming. Those times we got together were basically just “I-can’t-believe-he-can-be-so-stupid” sessions. If I had known then what I know now, I might have been in a position to provide some encouragement and help to their family.

How can we prevent bitterness from taking a horrible root in our marriages? Beth @ messy marriage.com has a great article about forgiveness, as does Sheila and Jolene @ thealabasterjar.com. In addition to their ideas, My husband and I found a few more to prevent that visit to the divorce lawyer.

1. Prayer – pray together every day
2. Play – goof around a little bit daily
3. Preen – make the extra effort to try to look good for the other.
4. Perseverance – dedicate ourselves to each other, and the permanency of marriage.

Over the next 4 weeks (or so!) we’ll be looking at these points in detail. It’s time to put a stop to the wreckage Satan is trying to make of our Christian homes, and be on the offensive! If you’re married, you may as well go ahead and throw yourself into it, and make it the very best marriage you possibly can.

Don’t hold back and be critical, like Katy did. Make up your mind that you will do everything in your power to chase away that Divorce lawyer.

Don’t just take a journey…take a COURAGEOUS journey!

 

Have you seen any of your friends’ marriages collapse? What do you think happened? How could it have been prevented?

 

 

Linking up with: Monday:
Alabaster Jar,
The Better Mom,
Raising Arrows
What Joy is Mine

Tuesday:
Titus Two Tuesdays, Mercy Ink Blog, The TimeWarp Wife

Wednesday:
To Love Honor and Vacuum

7 comments

  1. Beth says:

    For many years I was guilty of these mistakes…and many others. I know I still fall short at times, but I’m so grateful for the work God is doing in me. My relationship with my husband has grown so much and reading your ideas I’d say what has helped most is perseverance. We also pray more together, which is new for us but I do so love that time together.
    I’m grateful to find my way here today. Thank you for your heart.
    Many blessings.

    • Lisa says:

      Oh, me too, Beth! Criticism is a very familiar song, and I regret every note of it. But God, in His mercy and grace, has restored the years that the locust has eaten, and I know He can do the same with others as well.

      Thank you!

  2. Jillian @ Hi! It's Jilly says:

    Great post! I bet the rest of the series will be great as well. You are so right…we always need to be on guard. Satan is always trying to ruin everything, especially good, strong, Christian families!! Pinning!

    • Lisa says:

      The thing that really made me write this series is the recent visit we had at our home town. We were so saddened to discover how many homes are broken up – Christian homes! But it doesn’t have to be that way, does it? No, not by God’s grace…

      Thanks, Jilly!

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