3 Things That Make Your Hubby LOVE Coming Home!

 

Being in military ministry, we work closely with young military families. Megan and her husband Mark had been married about two years, and had the cutest little 14 month old boy, Josiah. Megan was the typical young army wife, who married with stars in her eyes and ended her marriage with daggers in her hands. But at sometime between the stars and the daggers, we had the privilege of working with them for a few months.

I stopped by Megan’s house one day to visit. Brushing the crumbs off the couch, I sat and began to talk about the Lord. I tried not to notice, but toys and trash mingled together on the floor, and the coffee table was a mountain of who-knows-what. Her boy walked around clad in typical Tarzan fashion, in a diaper – a very smelly diaper! That was in itself not too bad, except after a time it started to bother me that no effort was made to change the boy. But the dog was very interested in the contents of the diaper, going up to little Josiah and licking the edges of his diaper at every chance he could. Of course, the family pet turned and licked the boy’s face!

Though that was disgusting enough, soon the boy found a long-lost bottle of mysterious liquid (complete with floaties of unknown origin!) and walked around drinking it!! While Megan’s back was turned, I relieved the boy of his bottle and took it to the kitchen sink, where I’m sure it remained for quite some time.

No wonder they were having marital trouble!

Someone once said “Cleanliness is next to godliness,” and after that experience, I began to believe it!

Want a happy marriage? Keep your home in order. Or at least WORK on it. Never just “let it go.” I’m preaching to myself here, because these things are a real challenge for me. My sister, who grew up sharing a room with me, could tell you how horribly messy I am/was, but the Lord has done great things for me. Here are some things I have learned:

Keep your home CLEAN! Or a semblance of clean. Divide your home into 4 zones and clean each zone during its week. That way, your whole house gets a good cleaning at least once a month. And if you don’t get to all of it this month, no worries – it will come around again. For ideas for creating your own house cleaning schedules, see HouseCleaningTips.com, and for a template and printable, see this great article from Money Crashers.

Keep your home NEAT! Work on organizing and putting things away. All of these points are a struggle for me, but especially this one. I am the Queen of Clutter. My son told me once that I was the most “organized dis-organized person” he knows! But through systems such as the Flylady system, the Lord has helped me to make a lot of progress. In fact, I really got a blessing the other day when we had a bunch of people over for Memorial Day and my daughter commented, “You guys are so organized! You’re doing such a good job making this huge meal for a big crowd!” I would never have been able to do it pre-Flylady!

Keep your home nicely DECORATED! It doesn’t have to be a Martha Stewart home, but there’s a lot you can do with thrift store items if you know what to buy and where to put it.

I am Decoration-Challenged, so I try to get some help for this one. My oldest daughter is really good at it, as are some of my friends, so I ask them for help. Generally, I just let them come up with ideas and I do it, knowing that I know nothing of decor! But you probably don’t have that problem. Maybe you’re really good at it, so here’s your chance to let your creativity shine!

Pinterest is probably your best place to get decorating ideas! Though I’m not on myself – I know I’d be swallowed up and never heard from again – I’ve stalked it a few times myself!

I didn’t mention this before, but your body is another “house” you need to take care of. Even the smallest effort to eat right, get some exercise, and dress up for your honey will be appreciated. Check out these posts here for some pointers, as well as some ideas from Trim Healthy Mamas and Crossfit Mom.

Beware perfectionism – don’t turn into Mrs. Law! I can hear it now: “What??!?” (voice rising) “You left your COFFEE CUP ON THE END TABLE??!!!??!” No, no, no! This is to be an IMPROVEMENT for your family, not a DESTRUCTION! Get the kids in on the clean up, and sit and enjoy your nice place, but let The Man be The Man. Believe it or not, he will eventually see the effort you are making, and begin to clean up after himself.

Don’t let your stars become daggers! Make the extra effort to work on your home and marriage, even just a little bit each day, and you’ll see tremendous benefits!

Don’t just take a journey…take a COURAGEOUS journey!

What systems do you use for cleaning and organizing your home? Do you have any decorating pointers we can use? How about some ideas for better fitness and nutrition?

Also, check our Facebook page for “Destinations” (assignments for the day) to pump up your journey!

Linking up with: Monday: Alabaster Jar, The Better Mom, and Moms the Word,
and Happy Wives Club

Tuesday: Titus Two Tuesdays, Mercy Ink Blog, The TimeWarp Wife, Messy Marriage

Wednesday: To Love Honor and Vacuum

22 comments

  1. Rosemary says:

    Cleanliness and neatness really do help. At some point I realized that leaving dishes in the sink, letting the bed go unmade, letting the backyard become overgrown, etc., were creating a discouraging atmosphere. So I made some changes. I make the bed as soon as we get up in the morning. I make sure all the dishes are washed before we go to bed. Someone asked me, “But what if it’s really late and you’re really tired?” The answer was, “I was the dishes.” I’m not trying for perfectionism – I’m sure Martha Stewart would never approve of my overall housekeeping! But I know that if I make an excuse tonight (“I’m too tired”), it will be that much easier to make more excuses on more nights, and then I will be back to having a sink full of dishes. Although I initiated this on my own, the good news is that hubby saw what I was doing and felt inspired to do the same. He often takes the burden from me by washing up or doing some other task that needs to be done, without waiting for me to ask. It’s good to feel that we are working together.

    • Lisa says:

      Wow, that’s wonderful! Isn’t that great the way it works out? I’ve seen that happen in my own home – as I put more effort into making home a nice haven, My Beloved also puts more effort I to it.

      Thanks!

  2. AJ Collins says:

    🙂 I think that more important than having a clean home (in my opinion) is creating a peaceful environment. If you can make your home peaceful (even with a little clutter), and you great your husband with a big smile and loving touches… your husband will love to come home everyday.

    a clean home helps with this of course! 🙂 I try to make the area in front of the garage door as neat as possible… but mostly I try to make my greeting one that leaves a memory in his heart as well as his mind. 🙂

    • Lisa says:

      Very true! A peaceful home doesn’t have to be a clean or clutter free home, but like you say, it helps. How we greet our man is so important! It can set the tome for the rest of the day.

  3. Rhiannon says:

    I think (for us anyway) it’s just that when we let it go, the clutter and messiness puts us both in bad moods. It’s difficult to stay positive when everything feels like it’s coming undone all around you.

    • Lisa says:

      I agree completely! Unfortunately, I have a high tolerance for mess, but I’ve learned over the years that it’s so important to merely be able to function decently!

      Thanks for the comment!

  4. Krista says:

    Thanks for this! I, too, have a high tolerance for messiness! I have been thinking lately about how I clean up everything for when my friends or acquaintances come over- but when its just my husband, well he can deal with it. Isn’t it nice to save the worst for the one you love the most? I will definitely be working on these things!

    • Lisa says:

      I can sooo relate! Both my husband & I are kinda messy, and most of the kids are messy, so guess what we have? A serious challenge! But I want to love The Lord and my family enough to make it tolerably clean for them, God helping me. Then it should always be company ready…I hope! 😉

    • Lisa says:

      I tried to find a way to comment on your blog, but I couldn’t. Maybe it’s my addled brain! 😉 Anyway, I ‘ve never been to Germany, but there are a lot of American Bases there, and maybe one day we’ll go. Are you or your hubby in the military?

  5. Fawn @ Happy Wives Club says:

    That’s funny, when I saw the title, the first thing I thought was “Me, me, me.” 🙂 That would definitely be what my husband would say is the three things that makes him love coming home. My system for keeping the house clean is: 1) team work; and 2) cleaning as I’m using. I’m not a stay-at-home mom or homemaker so my viewpoint is likely different. I think peace in the home is far more attractive than the cleanliness of it. That being said, a clean home is definitely inviting and welcoming and who wants to come home to a dirty house (definitely not me :)).

    • Lisa says:

      Hahaha! That’s good! I had a few other ideas to make him want to come home, but they didn’t quite go with the flow of the post. Some other post, I guess. ;). Those are some really good pointers, especially to clean as we use things. That, I think, is my major downfall. I’ll keep that in mind from now on.

    • Lisa says:

      Yes, I think you’re right, Scott. She’ll never find the kind of fulfillment in a until she finds fulfillment in her own heart…in a relationship with The Lord. I haven’t heard from her in awhile, so I don’t really know how she’s doing. I pray things have evened out for her.

  6. Beth says:

    Wow! This is just packed with powerful wisdom on so many fronts, Lisa. Thanks for speaking to this issue. I’ve often thought about the connection between organization in our homes and organization in our lives and hearts. I definitely think there is a connection and we need to realize that. You’ve offered some incredible resources here as well. I’m going to check them out myself! Thanks for your passion to guide and resource women, my friend! It’s a blessing!

    • Lisa says:

      Thanks, Beth! I see so many young wives destroying their own homes and lives through selfishness & neglect, it breaks my heart. It’s so important for us older women to lead the younger ones, or they’re left to themselves.

      That’s why I’ve been putting daily assignments – just little things they can do – to improve their homes on my Facebook page. I know that’s what really helped me: a daily encouragement and tiny, simple assignment!

  7. Laura of Harvest Lane Cottage says:

    Oh Lisa, this was so good! I’m much better at keeping my house picked up and tidy than I used to be. It’s always a challenge though. This morning I threw away a dress that was worn out that I’d kept just because it was comfortable. As I put it in the trash, I realized that all wadded up, it took up almost a cubic foot. One cubic foot of our real estate had been taken up with trash!

    Eye opening!

    Blessings from Harvest Lane Cottage,

    Laura

  8. momstheword says:

    Wow, my post tomorrow is about hubby coming home too! I guess great minds think alike, lol!

    I find that I don’t function well in chaos and I can get grumpy if things are messy. So it’s better for ME if I keep things picked up every day. I also have chores broken down throughout the week and month so that they don’t all pile up on me at once!

    Thanks so much for linking up to the “Making Your Home Sing Monday” linky party!

    • Lisa says:

      Yes, most of us have had to learn from hard experience. I tell my girls that I used to let the dishes go until there was not another dish to use! Then I had to wash mounds of dishes and it was awful! But I look back and realize that I learned a very important lesson…keep after it, or you’ll be swallowed by it! 😉

    • Lisa says:

      Yes, great minds do think alike!

      I wish I had a lower tolerance to mess…then I wouldn’t have to work so hard to keep after things! 😉 looking forward to seeing what you have to say about hubby coming home!

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